Eight Million Minutes

Dear Eric,

I have eight million minutes to live. Eight million. So I decided it’s time to take a minute to tell you how I feel.

I know this is corny. I know that I probably won’t even send this to you. I know all this, but eight million minutes is nothing, and I can’t bear the idea of regretting for the rest of myself not taking this one minute to tell you.

You’ve made me a better person. Every day, I thank the Big Guy above for bringing you into my life. You made me realize that I’m not a loser, that I deserve happiness. You made me realize that my broken family is just that- it’s broken, but it’s not my fault. For that, I am forever indebted to you. I cannot describe how grateful I am that you entered my life.

Do you remember the first time we met? It was at the cafe, remember? You asked me what I wanted, but I didn’t hear you- I was reading Tolstoy, and completely zoned out. You tried to impress me with your knowledge of the classics. You were wrong, but that was ok- I had already fallen in love. But the truth is, I already knew you. I’m sure you don’t remember, but there was that day in July, last year. I was at the beach, you were lifeguarding. I was in my little polka dot bikini, but I didn’t want to take of my clothes… I was insecure, and though you didn’t know it, I didn’t want anyone to see the bruises. But then you called out from your seat, high above us. You told me I looked fabulous, and that anyone whose face looked like an angel’s definitely could rock a bikini. Later, you even used that cheesy line on me- the one where you asked if it hurt when I fell from heaven. I bet you never even thought of me after that, but I never forgot.

This is useless. I try to get my thoughts down, but everything comes out choppy, and horrid. The English Major, unable to write? My professors would kill me!

I don’t know what else I want to say. There isn’t enough paper in the world to try and figure out what’s going on in my head. I do know one thing though- this one minute is, and forever will be, the sweetest, saddest minute of my life. And it will always be the one that I will never regret.

Yours always,

Mikaela

Petitechatte xox

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